To be real means knowing yourself. Knowing who you are takes introspection and requires courage. This practice of self-awareness through observation without judgment or criticism is a learned behavior. We have been taught and conditioned to act or appear in a certain way for the approval of others. The image-makers tell us how to dress, how to be politically correct, how to conform and how to be followers. A lot of pressure to fit in is strong and deep from a very young age, but not a wise one from a sovereign thinker. If knowing who you are is difficult then commit to knowing who you are not. At a minimum, start there.
Refusing to comply with something that does not serve your Universal Conscious Self and expressing your independent thought takes determination, which is a strength we all have within us. This is a sign of a radical thinker, a fearless individual and at the same time allowing for others to standout.
Those that know who they are have no confusion about why and what they are here to do with their lives. They follow their passion and trust their intuition. They become guiding lights just by being present with their energy and vision. This is spiritual maturity. The opposite is psychological ignorance. We are unique and have much to contribute, unlike anyone else. To be afraid to shine your light is to deny your spiritual nature.
Having said this, being real does not mean complaining and blaming others for your bad experiences. Taking responsibility for your actions, your words, your thoughts and how it affects the whole is yours and yours alone. Being real takes practice. The next step is for us to drop our pretenses and let ourselves be seen and known for whom we truly are. Cut the cord to past wrong actions and negative emotional experiences that do not serve you or your Universal self so that you can find the real you.
Indigenous Medicine 
I especially like, “To be afraid to shine your light is to deny your spiritual nature.”